WHY SUCCESS ALMOST COST ME MY LIFE
I believe we all live in our paradigms.
We each have our own unique ways of viewing different pieces of life. One paradigm that I see play out again and again is the idea of “success” as a goal. It has definitely almost cost me my very life.
I coach, teach, and train business owners for a living. I train them on branding themselves to attract and connect with more customers. I see the paradigm of success as a goal as a driving factor in many of my clients and peers lives.
SUCCESS IS NOT A GOAL
I know saying success is not a goal is a challenging claim to make. It goes against the standard paradigm of…I’ll be successful if:
-I drive a lambourghini
-I live in a polo club
-I have the most attractive spouse
This is the standard paradigm we live in. Success as a goal.
WHAT IS THE POINT
My point is that living life with success as a goal is a losing proposition.
Every time I have set a goal and achieved what I thought would be “success”, there was always something MORE available. More money, a even bigger house, an even newer car, more was always available.
This is when I discovered I was living in a losing proposition.
WHAT I DISCOVERED
What became evident for me was that success as a goal does not work, but success as a way of BEING does.
The paradigm then shifts to success is:
-Doing my best
-Keeping my commitments to myself and others
-Loving unconditionally
-Forgiving always
Success for me becomes who I am now, instead of what I can achieve in the future. What I learned is that the only fullfilling paradigm of success, was a state of being. BEING SUCCESSFUL means just that…being…not doing. If first you choose to BE, your best self, then the doing is the natural fruit of who you are being.
Examining and accepting this new paradigm does not occur overnight. Old habits and deep rooted paradigms have a way of creeping back into consciousness. What I’ve learned is to create space for a new paradigm to exist, until it exists naturally in place of the old.
AWARENESS
The gift for transforming into the new paradigm thus becomes awareness. Awareness that you and I do live in the old paradigm and as thoughts and actions happen inside of that, being aware that we are acting in that way is the first step to shifting to the new paradigm.
Creating a mental system to question and become aware of each decision is the vehicle for creating the new paradigm naturally. You may not know this, but I struggle with being a workaholic…most “successful” people are(in the old paradigm).
I remember being faced with a decision of sacrificing my scheduled family time to complete the a additional project that the completion of which would totally take me to the GOAL OF SUCCESS in my peers eyes. I then practiced my exercise of being aware of the decision, and realized that success for me, was keeping the commitment(to family time in this case, keeping commitments of course in the new paradigm of success) over taking on the additional project that would satisfy the old paradigm.
What will you do to make yourself AWARE as you shift consciousness and your own personal definition of success from a goal to a state of being?
No related posts.
Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.
About Ben Dixon
Hi Ben!
Get Excited & Stay Excited!! I really liked this article. I wrote an article on my blog on how Success is a Choice (http://kantresesmith.com/2010/06/04/success-is-a-choice/) and a point you made in your article made me think back to my own. I have to agree with you that success is not a goal…. it is as I say a choice. We chose it, we be it, we attract it, not pursue it. Jim Rohn said, “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person you become.” and Jean Nidetch, founder of Weight Watchers International, Inc. spoke on success by saying, “It’s choice – not chance – that determines your destiny.” I firmly believe what and support what you’ve stated. Thanks again for sharing this valuable information.
Blessings, Love & Light…
Kantrese “Tresie”
“Inspire. Encourage. Empower.”
You’re confusing success with happiness. You weren’t focused on a “losing proposition”, you were assuming hitting financial goals would equal happiness and fulfillment. But business goals and personal goals should be different. Success, or a business owners version of that must be a goal. If you’re coaching businesses, they’ll need monetary achievements and sales numbers to focus on. And I’m still confused by the appealing title…you should go into more detail about how your life was almost lost due to chasing success. That’s a story worth telling.
@scottbishop I can see that it would be easy to think I’m confusing success with happiness.
So lets DEFINE success in the context of the post. Success(in this post) is referring to reaching that place of peace and enough-ness. Of course business success is achieving financial metrics and goals.
I write this because Success for many people(happiness as you say) is hitting those financial business goals. And the message of the post is that financial business goals and metrics do not create happiness. Happiness and joy are a choice, just as must as “success” is a choice.
As for the word “life” in the post I am not referring to my physical life. I am referring to the pieces that make up life(faith, family, friends). These where the things that I personally struggled with keeping up with as I pursued business goals 110%.
I have now discovered that not only do I achieve more business goals, but I also have happiness and joy inside of my new definition of success.
Thanks for commenting
Thank you for sharing excellent informations. Your website is very cool. I’m impressed by the details that you have on this site. It reveals how nicely you understand this subject. Bookmarked this web page, will come back for extra articles. You, my pal, ROCK! I found simply the information I already searched all over the place and just couldn’t come across. What a perfect web site.
Aw, this was a really nice post. In idea I would like to put in writing like this additionally – taking time and actual effort to make a very good article… but what can I say… I procrastinate alot and by no means seem to get something done.
Kewl you should come up with that. Eexclelnt!