WHY SUCCESS ALMOST COST ME MY LIFE
I believe we all live in our paradigms.
We each have our own unique ways of viewing different pieces of life. One paradigm that I see play out again and again is the idea of “success” as a goal. It has definitely almost cost me my very life.
I coach, teach, and train business owners for a living. I train them on branding themselves to attract and connect with more customers. I see the paradigm of success as a goal as a driving factor in many of my clients and peers lives.
SUCCESS IS NOT A GOAL
I know saying success is not a goal is a challenging claim to make. It goes against the standard paradigm of…I’ll be successful if:
-I drive a lambourghini
-I live in a polo club
-I have the most attractive spouse
This is the standard paradigm we live in. Success as a goal.
WHAT IS THE POINT
My point is that living life with success as a goal is a losing proposition.
Every time I have set a goal and achieved what I thought would be “success”, there was always something MORE available. More money, a even bigger house, an even newer car, more was always available.
This is when I discovered I was living in a losing proposition.
WHAT I DISCOVERED
What became evident for me was that success as a goal does not work, but success as a way of BEING does.
The paradigm then shifts to success is:
-Doing my best
-Keeping my commitments to myself and others
-Loving unconditionally
-Forgiving always
Success for me becomes who I am now, instead of what I can achieve in the future. What I learned is that the only fullfilling paradigm of success, was a state of being. BEING SUCCESSFUL means just that…being…not doing. If first you choose to BE, your best self, then the doing is the natural fruit of who you are being.
Examining and accepting this new paradigm does not occur overnight. Old habits and deep rooted paradigms have a way of creeping back into consciousness. What I’ve learned is to create space for a new paradigm to exist, until it exists naturally in place of the old.
AWARENESS
The gift for transforming into the new paradigm thus becomes awareness. Awareness that you and I do live in the old paradigm and as thoughts and actions happen inside of that, being aware that we are acting in that way is the first step to shifting to the new paradigm.
Creating a mental system to question and become aware of each decision is the vehicle for creating the new paradigm naturally. You may not know this, but I struggle with being a workaholic…most “successful” people are(in the old paradigm).
I remember being faced with a decision of sacrificing my scheduled family time to complete the a additional project that the completion of which would totally take me to the GOAL OF SUCCESS in my peers eyes. I then practiced my exercise of being aware of the decision, and realized that success for me, was keeping the commitment(to family time in this case, keeping commitments of course in the new paradigm of success) over taking on the additional project that would satisfy the old paradigm.
What will you do to make yourself AWARE as you shift consciousness and your own personal definition of success from a goal to a state of being?
